q: why did the blonde stair at the carton of orange juice all day?
a? it said concentrait
How do you drown a blonde??
put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
Blonde Jokes
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Blonde Jokes
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# 11:42pm, Feb. 13th 2008Ok I want to hear all your blonde jokes mine is not that good tho
q: why did the blonde stair at the carton of orange juice all day?
a? it said concentraitwell I thot it was funny
How do you drown a blonde??
put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool -
# 28:35pm, Feb. 13th 2008There was a blondd, a brunnette, nad a red head. they were all about 2 be executed by getting shot. when the red head was about to get shot, the man said "ready, aim..." and the red head yelled "tornado!" everyone turned around, and the red head escaped. when the brunnette was about to get shot, the man said "ready, aim..." and she yelled "earthquake!" everyone turned around, and the brunnette escaped. when the blone was about to get shot, the man said "ready, aim..." and the blond yelled "fire!"
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
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# 39:55am, Feb. 14th 2008
OMG WE BOYH HAVE EYE AVIATORS WEIRD.. ANYHOO I LIKE YOUR JOKES I HEARD EM B4 BUT FUNNY BABE XX -
# 412:05am, Feb. 20th 2008"How to keep a dumb blonde occupied:
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"A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman. She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door. She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted—how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage." When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it." About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there. She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats. As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche—it's a Ferrari."
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A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice — T stands for 'Thank,' G stands for 'goodness,' I stands for 'it's,' and F stands for 'Friday.' The man replies, "S stands for 'Sorry,' H stands for 'honey,' I stands for 'it's,' and T stands for 'Thursday.' " -
# 51:19am, Feb. 20th 2008Ok heres mine but its gay here !!!
there were two blondess and thay were loked out of thier car and one of the blondes looks at the other one and says we better hurry and try to get in the car cuz the hoods down!!! -
# 61:40pm, Feb. 20th 2008There was a red head a blonde. the cops were after them so the red head hid in a dog cage. the blonde hid in a sack of potatoes. so the cop nocked on the dog cage and the red head said"woof woof." and then they nocked on the sack of potatoes and the blonde said"potaaadoo pataaadoo."
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# 72:16am, May. 13th 2008Ok theres a brunete a red head and a bvlonde that all got the death penalty the brunete was first to die so the executioner said to her "any last words" she was totaly like yeah "TORNADO" so everyone hid and she got away. the red head was up next. the executioner said to her any last words she also said tornado and it caused the same effect. the last was the blonde. the executioner asked her "any last words?" the blonde screamed "FIRE" and they shot her
Theres 2 blondes walking down the street when they find a mirroron the road. one of ythe blonde picks it up, looks in it, and says I know I've seen that face before. the other blonde takes it from her, looks in it, and said, "of course you do, thats me!" -
# 83:24am, May. 21st 2008BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs! -
# 99:57pm, May. 25th 2008Ok, so there is a brunette on railroad tracks doing jumping jacks saying "98, 98, 98"
A blonde walks by and says"hey that looks like fun!"
The blonde gets on the railroad and starts saying "98, 98, 98" too
The brunette gets of the track but the blonde stays on. A few minutes later a train comes by and hits the blonde.
The brunette gets back on the tracks, doing jumping jacks and says"99, 99, 99" -
# 1011:09pm, May. 25th 2008There was a blonde a brunntte and a red head.....and the were stuck in the desert and they found a lamp and there was a geenie inside and they all got one wish so the brunntte wishes to go home so she went home the red head wished to go home and she went home the blonde wished she had all her friends back
